I am still split, divided, confused, stuck between the comfortable and the uncertain and I need to decide. But I still don’t think I’ll ever be at peace and I think I can drive myself crazy either way.
Most values are bullshit.
Most everything is partially a lie.
Most people know nothing and what they think they know is wrong.
Most of what we tell ourselves is deception.
Most deception is self protection.
Most of all me. Most of what I work for is meaningless. Most of what I feel is pointless. Most of what I want is unattainable.
Control is not possible only over yourself on rare occasion and usually not at all. I have no control over the oblivious and the overwhelming and the irrational and no control over the worry and the anger and the disappointment and the resentment I feel so often but it is because of control that I even bother to care anyway. Caring is painful, control is impossible and they are inextricably entwined. Self care is impeded by cares beyond oneself and by the inability to turn off and tune out everything else. Care is impeded by the forever present feeling of worthlessness and inaction and absolute lack of control. Self care is impeded by the roller coaster.
This was about one thing and then it became about big things and then it became about many things.
It’s no secret that I am a Lupita Nyong’o fan girl. She is gorgeous, graceful, and certifiably ***flawless.
The actress gained worldwide attention for her heart-wrenching portrayal of the enslaved Patsey in Steve McQueen’s much-praised 12 Years A Slave. Having been thrust into the Hollywood spotlight only months ago, Lupita is notably reserved in the public eye—but her powerful presence speaks volumes about the ever-expanding ways in which Black women are complicating archaic notions about our femininity.
Lupita’s Patsey is markedly different from both Mistress Epps, her master’s wife, and from Kerry Washington’s delicate Broomhilda in Django Unchained. Dark-skinned and long-suffering, Patsey is not afforded the benefit of Broomhilda’s damsel in distress rescue. It is, however, worth noting that both women were targets of sexual violence from the white men with power over them, neither of them immune to the Jezebel stereotype that deemed their black female bodies “unrapeable.”
during the witch burning times, midwives were targeted because they were healers and they eased the pain of childbirth which was meant to be woman’s punishment for eating the apple in the garden of eden.
birth control and abortion were considered sinful for the same reason.
anti-choice sentiment started because people (men) wanted women to be punished, and these misogynistic ideas have carried on for hundreds of years.
"Stop thinking about art works as objects, and start thinking about them as triggers for experiences. (Roy Ascott’s phrase.) That solves a lot of problems: we don’t have to argue whether photographs are art, or whether performances are art, or whether Carl Andre’s bricks or Andrew Serranos’s piss or Little Richard’s ‘Long Tall Sally’ are art, because we say, ‘Art is something that happens, a process, not a quality, and all sorts of things can make it happen.’ … [W]hat makes a work of art ‘good’ for you is not something that is already ‘inside’ it, but something that happens inside you — so the value of the work lies in the degree to which it can help you have the kind of experience that you call art."